Tag Archives: lost

Giving up…

So for the last how many months you have heard me rant and rave about the fact that I am just coasting…just maintaining. I have been stuck and can’t seem to make progress. I have tried everything. I have been so honest and transparent with my┬ábiblestudy girls, hoping and praying that it helps and it’s the motivation that I need BUT I just end up feeling like such a loser because I fail. I can’t get consistent. I have these moments where I just feel the need to attack food. What is wrong with me? I know it’s an addiction. I know that there was no trigger today – I was just hungry. I was making myself a turkey sandwich and decided to eat 4 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch instead. Why? It sounded good. It was a quick meal. The whole time I am thinking to myself, “this is not what I should be eating! I should be eating healthy food. I’m going to be so embarrassed to journal this later.”

BUT I eat it anyway. Why don’t I stop and listen to that voice in my head? I don’t think I’ll ever beat this addiction. I just want to give up. I want to quit letting people down…myself, my hubby and family, my biblestudy girls. I keep toying with the idea of just throwing my hands up and saying that I’m quitting my biblestudy and I’ll just go about my life and deal with whatever I look like. That would be the easy way out…

I have ever tool and ability to fight this addiction yet I don’t or won’t. What’s it going to take? I have no clue.

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