Giving up…

So for the last how many months you have heard me rant and rave about the fact that I am just coasting…just maintaining. I have been stuck and can’t seem to make progress. I have tried everything. I have been so honest and transparent with my biblestudy girls, hoping and praying that it helps and it’s the motivation that I need BUT I just end up feeling like such a loser because I fail. I can’t get consistent. I have these moments where I just feel the need to attack food. What is wrong with me? I know it’s an addiction. I know that there was no trigger today – I was just hungry. I was making myself a turkey sandwich and decided to eat 4 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch instead. Why? It sounded good. It was a quick meal. The whole time I am thinking to myself, “this is not what I should be eating! I should be eating healthy food. I’m going to be so embarrassed to journal this later.”

BUT I eat it anyway. Why don’t I stop and listen to that voice in my head? I don’t think I’ll ever beat this addiction. I just want to give up. I want to quit letting people down…myself, my hubby and family, my biblestudy girls. I keep toying with the idea of just throwing my hands up and saying that I’m quitting my biblestudy and I’ll just go about my life and deal with whatever I look like. That would be the easy way out…

I have ever tool and ability to fight this addiction yet I don’t or won’t. What’s it going to take? I have no clue.

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One thought on “Giving up…

  1. Satan is working hard on you and you CAN NOT let him win this battle. NO, you are not okay with how you look, I know that for sure. I know you want to be healthy for yourself and your family. Yes, you can do this, but you have to dig deep and work hard. Even if you don’t feel the motivation, keep moving forward one meal at a time in the right direction and eventually the motivation will come. Lisa, I love you and will not let you quit. If you quit this group, you know exactly what will happen. Don’t do that to yourself.

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